The Chonky Girl

   Its 200 degrees and I’m sweating like I’m standing in the open sun in the middle of the desert.   I’m yanking my hair up off my neck and fanning myself with a Domino’s pizza flyer someone stuck in my mailbox.    I’ve stripped down to a tank top and shorts and I’m sitting on my front steps in the middle of the night in February.      In ten minutes, I’ll be wrapped up in a fleece blanket, falling blissfully back to sleep until the next round of hot flash. I feel tired most of the time.    I’ll be awake for thirty minutes, still enjoying that first cup of coffee and I will start to nod off as the morning news drones on in the background like a soft lullaby.    For a girl who used to stay up past midnight reading books, it's almost laughable to see me struggle to keep my eyes open at eight-thirty at night.    Dark hair has begun to appear on my chin.   Just one or two.   So now plucking is a ritual, al...

  I read a lot of articles online listing the worse things about being a woman ( I’m always curious what other women think are horrible about my gender ) and I also read the articles about the downsides of being a man.   I’ve come to the conclusion that both genders have their own complaints and honestly they are good ones.  We all know that women collectively know that walking alone, especially after dark is like screaming ‘Victim here!”  I have not researched it, but I would guess statistically that most women are victimized or attacked in this scenario, why else would this be common knowledge?    On the flip side of that, men understand that women can be uncomfortable with a man following along behind them so they are hyper-aware and have to make a decision to either change course or speed up to pass the woman so as not to freak her out.   He may just be strolling down to the store for a Coke and a lottery ticket but if he steps on th...

Banned books are not a new thing.  The list is ever changing and based on opinions of those who deem themselves to be the judge and jury of what we should or should not be reading.   I read what I want to read, no one will tell me otherwise.   Thank goodness I live in the United States where I have that sort of freedom to state such a thing and put it into action.    This morning, however, I heard on the news something far more disturbing than another banned book.  It was censorship taking things up a notch.   From my understanding the publishers of the Ronald Dahl books , Puffn Books, a division of Penguin random house, has started changing passages relating to weight, mental health, gender and race.          Now Augustus Gloop in “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”  is no longer “enormously fat” he is just “enormous” .    The cloud-men in “James and the Giant Peach” a...

 Pepsico stopped producing Sierra Mist. I liked it, the name was  exotic sounding, and the taste was fresh. It was hard to find for  several years, and it just began appearing on shelves again and   Pepsico announced it was being shelved.  It feels a lot like when they stopped making Aspen.   I doubt anyone   remembers Aspen and if you do then you are most definitely a GenX Model.   Aspen was another clear soda, and it was crisp and clean like apples it was gone in a flash. Replaced by Slice, a lemon lime soda that was more popular and ironically all of these were produced by Pepsico.  I am seeing a pattern here I had not noticed before, Pepsico is the root of my disappointment and anger when it comes to clear sodas. They have great ideas, but I would venture to say that something goes wrong with the marketing.  ( They, of course, blame their competitor  *ahem "Coca-Cola" for their ever popular Sprite ).  ...

I am a Fairy Tale girl.    The one who wants to believe in Prince Charming and romance and happily ever after.   I was raised on Disney Princesses like so many other girls and its not a stretch to say that we were all just a little disillusioned on what to expect out of a relationship.    We expected candlelight dinners, walks on the beach, flowers and candy, romantic gestures and unwavering devotion.    A few years out there in singles scene was all we needed to show us just how skewed our expectations were.    Fairy Tales are bullshit.    Prince Charming is going to have flaws… like chewing gum so loud that you actually consider taking a frying pan to his head like a cartoon character in days of old.    He is going to stop bringing you flowers because flowers are expensive and its not that you are worth it but, girl, you don’t need flowers every day.    He won’t bring you chocolate because you complained too ma...

  If you are lucky you have at least one friend you can talk to about anything and everything.   It’s the one person in the world that knows your darkest secrets and your wildest dreams.   This is the friend you can call up at random and say , “Let’s go shopping for Elvis records at thrift shops!” and that friend will be at your door decked out in Saturday-Work-In-Your-Yard clothes, clutching a can of caffeine and saying, “Let’s do this!” This is “your person”.   The one you can tell anything to and you do.   We all have those times in our lives that we can refer to as the rough spots and that’s when we call on our person more than usual for some one on one therapy sessions.    We need to vent, cry, seek out some sort of solace from the turmoil that is wreaking havoc in our life.   Your person has a duty to be there for you, to be your rock and to support you and lift your spirits.   If your person comes to you in their rough spot, you do...

  I just read an article on MSN by author Isabella Sylvester entitled   “23 Things Women Secretly Hate About Being A Woman”      23 Things Women Secretly Hate About Being A Woman (msn.com)   News Flash…. Not a single one of these 23 items is a secret!   As women, we have not been quiet about how we feel about any of this!     First on the list   “ The Assumption that if I’m making polite chitchat than I must be flirting” .    True!   We are annoyed by this, however, is this not partially our own fault?   How many times have we liked a guy and made a plan to get close with the chitchat/flirt scheme?   Guys are not stupid, Ladies, they know what we’re doing and they have it happen so much it becomes a norm to them.    We created the monster and now we complain?     Being told to smile -   this one I agree with.    Sometimes we just don’t’ want to smile.   We ar...